Grown Folk, the first ever Granny Takeover is tomorrow!by Summer Selby-Drew on 09/26/13
I'm ready. Well, I mean, I've taken a valium to take the edge off. I've carried on a running dialogue with God, and, yes, I've been careful to keep my ears open.
I've pulled weeds in my garden for 3 hours in 90 degree, sunny weather. I've cleaned my kitchen, dusted my living room, dust mopped my hard wood floors, feed my dogs a bowl of their favorite food, changed my bed sheets and repotted 3 plants together with my husband. I've showered twice with Hibiclens, paying particular attention to those areas of my body that will sustain wounds. And I've washed, oiled and braided my hair. So. I'm ready.
I'm ready to take back my body from the life changes it has withstood: from 5 pregnancies, 4 births and one abortion; from nursing my grinning, toothy, happy baby boys; from gaining 40 pounds in 30 years; from eating Nutter Butter Peanut Butter cookies and ice cold milk when my heart was broken or my pride was wounded.
I want to say "Thank You" to everyone who assured me that I "looked good for 64", because I really did appreciate being told that. I'm a size 14 misses, and, as I've said to many people, I'm satisfied with that because my goal was to not...let me just come out and say it...look like my mother did when she was 64. I learned a lot of wonderful, useful traits from my Mom, like resourcefulness, resiliency, and assertiveness. Mom was amazing. She'd get up in the morning and say to me and my 2 brothers, 'Let's go to New York." And we did. Drove there in her white Ford Falcon. We 4 had a blast. And she did it with less than $60 and a credit card. In fact, Mom gave herself a trip around the world with very, very little in her purse. But, she also taught me to keep up my appearance as long as I could, because she didn't. Mom grew round and matronly very quickly from overeating and being sedentary. Right after her last boyfriend, as a matter of fact.
So in the morning, my board certified plastic surgeon and I will help me alleviate the neck and back pain my heavy breasts gift me. Then we'll eliminate my no-longer-needed kangaroo pouch - you know, if you stand behind me and reach around to my front and grab my kangaroo pouch, it will fill up both your hands. And if you push the 2 sides together, it looks exactly like a baby's butt. I digress again. We'll pull my tummy muscles back together and sew them there so they won't separate again for years. The result? A firm, flat tummy, perky breasts and access to the other 80% of the wardrobe in my closet.
I'm ready to be, as women patients say in the plastic surgery world, on the perky and flat side. I'm excited. And I'm actually looking forward to joining the several senior women who have "come out" to me and shared their plastic surgery experiences since I started sharing my journey. Sometimes their journey began with weight loss surgery. Sometimes it began with corrective facial surgery. But, however they journey, I agree it feels really good to be strong enough and brave enough to take the steps to change ourselves for the better. As a wise plastic surgery patient from St. Louis recently said on her RealSelf.com blog post, "There is no shame in wanting to look as good as we feel."
And I'm ready.